We write about the indie horror revolution a lot here at Thought Catalog.
The last ten years have blessed us with some true gems of the genre, including The Witch and Hereditary, to name just a couple. But there’s one thing that no one has discussed regarding these films: the hotness of their central villains. An example of such discourse would be: Who’s more bangable — Paimon from Hereditary or the Satan goat from The Witch? Paimon, obviously, but since we’ve already mentioned these two, I’ll be ranking seven other indie horror villains by hotness now. And away we go!
20th Century Studios
All tea all shade, but the Mother is just not it. This poor lady has been trapped in a basement for her entire life and it shows. It’s honestly impressive how she manages to look like she has amassed decades of sun damage without ever having gone outside. And could her kidnapper have just once given her a mirror to do her hair in? It’s like she conditions it with lighter fluid. No, mama, I will not be going straight for you.
Bryonston Distributing
Imagine a boyfriend who never takes his mask off. Kinky, right? Now add the additional edginess of said boyfriend being a mute psychotic murderer. Ultra kinky! Problem is: That mask is not giving. As you’ll see later in this list, a good mask does a sexy horror villain make. But Leatherface’s insistence on only wearing the skin of his victims is off-putting to say the least. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.
A24
Gun to my head, Pearl’s the one villain on this list I’d switch teams for. (Even gun to my head, I wouldn’t go for Mother.) Also, let’s face it, Pearl would likely have a gun to my head by our third date! But she just likes to tease people that way. At her core, Pearl is just a lonely, misunderstood, and pathologically overprotected creative type with a raw charisma that even Hollywood’s most talented actresses would kill for. Pearl can get it.
Compass International
Remember what I said about masks? Michael Myers is proof that they can work. What sets him apart from Leatherface is that he doesn’t walk around with rotted dead skin hanging from his face 24/7. He keeps it classy with that alabaster wax-like number that, let’s face it, does wonders for his jawline. If he’s going to wear a mask for the duration of our tryst, then it might as well be cute.
Summit Entertainment
Back in my 20s, I would go crazy for guys on Grindr who left their profile pictures blank. For want of a human face to look at, I’d imagine all sorts of sexy features for them — like Build-A-Bear for closeted men. Piercing eyes, wavy hair, cheekbones you could cut cheese with … Anyway, the Blair Witch is hot because I don’t know what she looks like.
RADIUS-TWC
The Entity is another villain with so many possible appearances! Half of them are bound to be turn-offs; I’m not sure I’d have the hots for that version of the Entity who’s like eight feet tall. However, if you wait long enough before passing on the Entity to someone else, then it is bound to look like Henry Cavill once or twice! Those three minutes of having Henry Cavill chase you through a field will be worth all of the stress of almost dying.
Umbrella Entertainment
Is it in his eyes? Oh no, you’ll be deceived. Is it in his sighs? Oh no, he’ll make you scream. If you wanna know why the Babadook is hot, it’s in his top hat, pasty white face, Jack White under-eye rings, and 57 teeth. He’s hot for the same reason Adam Driver is hot. It’s his style, his swagger, and his je ne sais what. He won’t consign you to a lifetime of paralyzing depression before taking you out on the town first. That’s a real man right there!
The last ten years have blessed us with some true gems of the genre, including The Witch and Hereditary, to name just a couple. But there’s one thing that no one has discussed regarding these films: the hotness of their central villains. An example of such discourse would be: Who’s more bangable — Paimon from Hereditary or the Satan goat from The Witch? Paimon, obviously, but since we’ve already mentioned these two, I’ll be ranking seven other indie horror villains by hotness now. And away we go!
7. Mother from Barbarian
20th Century Studios
All tea all shade, but the Mother is just not it. This poor lady has been trapped in a basement for her entire life and it shows. It’s honestly impressive how she manages to look like she has amassed decades of sun damage without ever having gone outside. And could her kidnapper have just once given her a mirror to do her hair in? It’s like she conditions it with lighter fluid. No, mama, I will not be going straight for you.
6. Leatherface from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Bryonston Distributing
Imagine a boyfriend who never takes his mask off. Kinky, right? Now add the additional edginess of said boyfriend being a mute psychotic murderer. Ultra kinky! Problem is: That mask is not giving. As you’ll see later in this list, a good mask does a sexy horror villain make. But Leatherface’s insistence on only wearing the skin of his victims is off-putting to say the least. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.
5. Pearl from the X series
A24
Gun to my head, Pearl’s the one villain on this list I’d switch teams for. (Even gun to my head, I wouldn’t go for Mother.) Also, let’s face it, Pearl would likely have a gun to my head by our third date! But she just likes to tease people that way. At her core, Pearl is just a lonely, misunderstood, and pathologically overprotected creative type with a raw charisma that even Hollywood’s most talented actresses would kill for. Pearl can get it.
4. Michael Myers from Halloween (1978)
Compass International
Remember what I said about masks? Michael Myers is proof that they can work. What sets him apart from Leatherface is that he doesn’t walk around with rotted dead skin hanging from his face 24/7. He keeps it classy with that alabaster wax-like number that, let’s face it, does wonders for his jawline. If he’s going to wear a mask for the duration of our tryst, then it might as well be cute.
3. The Blair Witch from The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Summit Entertainment
Back in my 20s, I would go crazy for guys on Grindr who left their profile pictures blank. For want of a human face to look at, I’d imagine all sorts of sexy features for them — like Build-A-Bear for closeted men. Piercing eyes, wavy hair, cheekbones you could cut cheese with … Anyway, the Blair Witch is hot because I don’t know what she looks like.
2. The Entity in It Follows
RADIUS-TWC
The Entity is another villain with so many possible appearances! Half of them are bound to be turn-offs; I’m not sure I’d have the hots for that version of the Entity who’s like eight feet tall. However, if you wait long enough before passing on the Entity to someone else, then it is bound to look like Henry Cavill once or twice! Those three minutes of having Henry Cavill chase you through a field will be worth all of the stress of almost dying.
1. The Babadook in The Babadook
Umbrella Entertainment
Is it in his eyes? Oh no, you’ll be deceived. Is it in his sighs? Oh no, he’ll make you scream. If you wanna know why the Babadook is hot, it’s in his top hat, pasty white face, Jack White under-eye rings, and 57 teeth. He’s hot for the same reason Adam Driver is hot. It’s his style, his swagger, and his je ne sais what. He won’t consign you to a lifetime of paralyzing depression before taking you out on the town first. That’s a real man right there!